Positive Parenting....Part 1

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If we want to implement positive parenting, we ourselves should be able to train serenity and patience, then we must come first pattern of positive thoughts and good before the parenting

Some important points for positive parenting on children as follows :

1. Children are small people

Treat children like adults even though he has not been large,but in fact many things that he has understood and can be treated the same as adults.

For example :

• Always give it a choice that he did not feel always governed, but of course as parents we can teach and direct where the better choice and important.  

• Let him independent even though some things centainly made easier.Especially in small things like a bath, brush teeth, change shoes, and change clothes.

• Always answer the question of children with correct answers as possible. Just do not lie to children, because if one day the child knows the lie, can reduce the confidence of children to parents.

• Avoid answer "Do not Know" as this can trigger a feeling lazy on a child to ask again to parents. Ask her to wait as long as we seek answers to questions.

• Explain the concept of cause and effect. Now is not the time parents who are authoritarian model, which substantially all the talk they were right and not be in the debate as his son. This is in addition to making the child can not think with logic also makes the children feel free and be away from their parents. Teach the concept of causation, and InshaAllah will make children easier to understand and easier to ask him to do something if it already get the sense fromhim.

• Do not repeat the same advice. Children would be bored if advised constantly with the same advice.

2. Know your child well
Especially the type of learning. Every human being has different types of learning from each other. Thera are visual, auditory or kinesthetic. These three factors are always present in every human being,but with a different percentage. How do I differentiate our children as children visual, auditory or kinesthetic? (will be described separately....in Part 2)

To be able to nurture our children according to type of learning, first, we ourselves as parents who need to know the type of learning

3. Greeting Parents is a prayer
For that always use positive words and affirmations effective in parenting. Do not to stamp our children with the label "naughty", "stubborn", "unruly". If our children hear, fear it will be a suggestion that goes to the boy. Avoid no-don't-not.

4. Avoid Conflict on Children

Do not use sentences which contradict, giving rise to questions on the child which in turn can make children doubt many things, like for example :

" Ouch...very clever mama's boy, all mussed. Good job...Go ahead let it all mussed plus a mess, really good :( "

5. Being a Role Model for our children

Children is a perfect copycat. For that we should be a role model and a good teacher to them, because the child would follow the example of all that is done by us,because they regard us as role models. Therefor, we must provide good role models through the example of direct.

6. Avoid High Expectation

We must learn to accept our children as it is. Because we love him even though he has many weaknesses, not because he has many advantages. We must become the number one supporter for our children. Learn what's best for us is not necessarily the best for our children. try to learn to put a reasonable standard and need not be excessively demanding.

And Most important thing is to avoid comparing your child with other children. Any result that have made our children as best he had, that must be done by us is praise him sincerely, then Encourage him so he could be better than the current achievement.

7. Being a Consistent Parent
The rules that we apply to their lives aiming to discipline them. Make a method of punishment and rewars consequences for them to obey the rules taht we already apply. Creative in applying this method.

8. Angry conditional
The reason anger is right and not because of our emotional outlet. Angered by the appropriate portion. Avoid physical punishment. Physical punishment will only make the child afraid and do not respect us as parents.
Angry with his action,not to the child. Show that we do not like his actions are not good.

(Translation from Indonesian : Workshop Hypnoparenting by Evariny Adriana)